Who Is The Slackmistress?

She is a leaf on the wind.
She is Still Not King.
She is the Maker of Silly Noises, after all other Makers of Silly Noises have fallen.
She speaks for the Sisterhood of Slacking.
She dips her toe into the river that is never the same river twice.
She refers to herself in the third person.
She drinks from the cup of pure awareness.
She eats nacho cheese Doritos.
She is full of Heisenberg uncertainty and win.